That, or he just couldn’t stop kicking the back of the pilot’s seat...

“since I’m not in the business of re-using old U-bolts”

Those interceptions aren’t going to throw themselves!

In the AAF, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups. The players who were suckered into wasting months of their life, and the owners who will somehow cash out and profit on an obvious disaster. These are their stories.

Don’t these people know better than to get on a bus with Keanu Reeves? 

He hated cars? [laughing at own “joke”] hahahahahahahaahaha hahahahahahhahahaha hahhahahahahahahahahahaahahhahahaahahah

Congratulations on leaving what is easily the most deranged comment I’ve ever received in my year of working at Jezebel lol. 

Hertz: I know what I have.

7+8=15

Pittsburgh is the new Cleveland.

Sir, the Overly-Defensive Readings we’re picking up...they’re off the chart. 

Exceptional reading comprehension

When reached for comment, Flacco just shruggged.

“I’m not a baseball fan and don’t follow the sport”

If it weren’t vegetarian, they wouldn’t call it “tossing salad”.

• FELL OFF TOILET, FELL ONTO A MOUSE TRAP, TRAP CLOSED ON PENIS

So, is it a horse or a bull?

OH GREAT, another berth. Just what the Rivers household needs!

.... what?

“[T]he Star Wars producers decided to cleverly conceal the freighter under some plastic tarps inside a circle of storage containers...”