Any backup will tell you that most of their scoring takes place of the field anyway.

I remember when something like this happened to Leon Lett and no one in Dallas laughed.

This may just be the greatest top to bottom day of college football I've ever seen.

There will be some dark horse had tonight.

Somewhere on the sidelines, Michael Moore just passed gas.

"Be HEALED." - Benny Hinn

CBS asks Lundquist. Lundquist asks Tebow. Tebow asks Jesus. Jesus asks Holtz, but only for shits and giggles.

Don't worry, Kenny Hill. Play your cards right and there's a Snickers commercial waiting for you too.

That Royals kid may be under 21, but he's fucking hammered.

This made me spew my beer.

"Okay, we've got Jim from Security in the aisle. Go ahead Jim." - Larry King

I've never heard of Castle, but if it's anything like Franklin and Bash, I'm going continue leaving the TV off until Saturday.

"Whatever you do, Natalie, don't go on Oprah." - James Frey

"You motherfuckers will never know." - Roy Orbison

No slow-motion video with MGMT's "Electric Feel" overdubbed? Major miss, fellas.

With a name like Spillman, things are bound to get messy.

Re: named duos, if you refer to your, or your significant other's, breasts as "Crockett and Tubbs," "Siegfried and Roy," or "Ren and Stimpy," you immediately revoke your right to love and to be loved.

Oof. Well played.

The mixture of equal parts Fat Bud and Bud Light offers a taste complexity that meets in the middle of fraternity house mattress and homelessness.

Goddammit, Marge Schott, stick to haunting the Reds!