The makeup is bad and her hair is fusty, like something an elderly woman would get for a special event.

I like the dress, I don’t like her styling though. I think her eye make-up is too dark for this dress and even the lip color could be a shade lighter, and that would compliment the dress better.

Pfft, churros or go home.

I stopped and stared at the screen for a long minute after reading your comment.

I may be screaming into the void here but I need to let this out.

I just can’t get over how insulting the “I need a wife” part is. Certainly as a successful, powerful, wealthy woman, whereas that’s historically been a men-only realm, she above anyone should understand that gender roles do not determine life-roles???

In a strange way, it reminds me of that classic situation when couple says they’re poly, but expect their other partners to be like some slutty mary poppins who simultaneously has nothing in their life but the couple but also no attachments to them.

I have a nanny for my daughter, and though this is awkwardly worded (and like the rest of notice comes off super fucking weird) I very much wanted her nanny to have a loving relationship with her while maintaining appropriate boundaries. Doesn’t everyone want that in a caretaker or teacher of children?

Mine is only ridiculous in how mundane and... perfect (?) it was.

And aspiring to “Anthony Bourdain for the young and hot.” means you have no concept of Anthony Bourdain, as does conflating him in any way with Guy Fieri.

I’ve lived within relative distance of future BurgerIM sites for the last... five? six? more? years.

I need an investigative reporting piece on the last person to hold this job and their firing over mis-quantifying the fish:

Dear Stuff Stealer,

Wait. Since the book was hinged, was that a cheese hot dog? Or was it still a cheese sandwich?

It is okay to not like a particular food. You don’t have to justify not liking it.

Ya’ll are fucking nuts.

I feel like Sriracha’s thicker mouthfeel, sorry, ballfeel, is far superior to tapatio. I need a sauce that will really stick to my balls.

Well my condiment of choice is Tapatio, and yes, you feel that through your ballsack.

Ain’t no one inviting him to the cook out.

Assassin’s Creed 3 Liberation the main character was half black and half french and in Watch_dogs 2 the main character is black. Those are two other games I can think of and they both happen from Ubisoft.