She’s not an ambi-turner, OK?!

I have a friend know a person who is a Red Sox, Alabama, UNC, UCONN, and Green Bay fan.

 Smith grabbed his cellphone and threw it into a construction zone

Cornilingus

“That’s a cool trick, Anna. But let me show you how to make a first round pick disappear.” -Vlade Divac

That all sounds really fucking gross!

But, they’re the LAKERS:

Pretty sure Gritty has been selling grilled cheese in the parking lot before Phish shows for years.

#finsanity

Obligatory:

- Andrew Jackson, 1830

This beef is too spicy. As a Wolves fan, I would like to send this beef back to the kitchen and request a Midwestern level of spice. Everything is on fire.

“nazi cuts”

Bye, son.

“Everyone in prisons says that, of course”

To be fair, that DOES ruin a BJ.

Aside from being generally prepared and not overestimating your abilities, OBEY THE FUCKING SIGNS. The sign says don’t swim there....don’t swim there. The sign says don’t climb over the railing....don’t climb over the railing. The sign says stay on the trail....stay on the trail. 80% of those signs are there because…