Dwight Howard’s five pillars: Farting, skittles, more farting, inefficient post-ups, and peeing.

I see. Loose definition of joke.

On that Donald play above? I’m far from a football rules expert, but I thought for a roughing call while the QB still has the ball, the defender either has to unnecessarily drive the QB into the ground or hit him in the knees or head. I didn’t see any of that here. What would be the basis for such a call in your…

I’d be curious to see the distribution. With just nine attempts, it’s quite possible he happened to bust one for 60 yards and that totally skews the average.

I reffed 4-5 year old soccer. We always called it “magnetball.” Game play looks like an amoeba made of children moving semi-randomly around the field.

The “lacto” refers to the bacteria Lactobacillus, a naturally occurring bacteria that converts sugars to lactic acid when placed in an aerobic (oxygen free) environment.

Heaven Hill makes lots of solid bourbons (Old Fitz, Larceny, some of the small batch and single barrel Elijah Craigs). And Evan Williams single barrel is one of the best bourbons you can find in the ~$30 price range.

He can fill my A Gap any time.

All these folks steaking their claim to be this website’s top beef pun maker really have me stewing.

Given your selections of camembert and the blue, curious if you’ve tried Cambozola? It’s basically a blue that is made like a rich brie, slightly stinky and oh so creamy. One of my absolute favorites if I’m putting out a cheese plate.

Just make sure you’re using the restaurant’s actual phone number.

So I assume these will come with only half a cup of mayo slathered on them, as opposed to the normal full 8 oz?

Were you wearing a jock strap when you made that stretch?

I was gonna go with this one, but I think yours is better:

You were right to include Zapp’s, but you missed the best one:

Throwing an apple core as far as you can (the only way to dispose of them, in my opinion) from a backwoods trail . . . won’t do harm.

His quotes are from earlier this summer, complaining about the existing rules. I think these new rules are intended to make the tampering rules more “enforceable.”

You’re doing great!

Learning that hand motion is actually the first prerequisite for being bulimic. From there, it just takes a little practice to get the fingers all the way to the back of the throat.

I have no opinion on the marriage thing, but she has absolutely no incentive to speak with the NFL or the Browns. If she says something to them that is even minutely different than what she has alleged in her lawsuit or eventually recounts in a deposition, the defense will seize upon that to discredit her as…