Brian Kilmeade: I’m just hearing from our producer that a “dildo” is something that people use to pleasure themselves during sex. Huh.

I doubt any of them do this, but I want to see a couple crawling across the body inchworm-style.

I don’t know about their current status (I believe it’s being fought out in court), but here in Indiana when they passed their moronic ‘religious freedom bill’ to support the Hobby Lobby decision, a “church of marijuana” declared itself in Indianapolis and claimed the right to the religious freedom to use marijuana.

Care Net Pregnancy Center understands that all women have freedom of choice. But, wise choices cannot be made unless all the options and risks are considered.

A hint that you are literally the only one thinking about my genitalia? I mean I’m not even thinking about it. I can’t think of anything less appealing to me at this moment than anything involving me and sex.

Someone needs to suggest this to Ben Carson!

You seem to since you’re literally the only one who even referenced it... Twice...

Okay, I am definitely going to have to find the documentary where it shows people blowing glass dildos (not to be confused with the porn which also shows that but in another way).

Then... I guess it’s a good thing that I’m neither talking about it nor aroused?

It is according to the adult novelties marketing department.

What if you make eye contact, then bite down as hard as you can?

I mean I don’t use those things, not being into putting things in the one hole large enough I have down there, but wouldn’t you want to avoid sticking glass in any sort of orifice where it might, you know, break inside?

Even skateboarders, who are not exactly known for being especially conscious of the general public walking around them, pick up their board when they go inside a store. Where do these people get the idea that this is okay?

I’m okay with the public banana ban. They’re disgusting and they smell awful.

That looks less like a sex toy and more like a glass pipe...

You know, this leads to an excellent conclusion... if there is a mass-shooting on campus, you’re probably screwed whether you have a gun or not, so you might as well make that term literal while you’re there...

I don’t think it’s a question of whether or not there were any body fluids or floor sweepings on that fried egg, it’s just a question of how much.

I don’t know... she already used Shake it Off...

This gives her just enough time to write an entire album dedicated to what a terrible person Calvin Harris is, produce it and market it to her fans before she finds the next famous person to date and then find a reason to both dump and hate enough to write an album about. Lather, rinse, repeat.

You’d think the Internet would have stopped people believing things like that, but I think there are more of them today because they can find echo chambers to support the nutty things people believe.