I apologize for not bothering to watch whatever YouTube crap that is. I’d like to think I’ve already resigned myself reading your crap as it is, which is always with me. From here on out, I aim to close my thermos’ lid correctly. I am truly sorry.

I apologize for not passing the voight-kampff test. I’d like to think I’ve already resigned myself to more arrogant blather from D. Walker, which is always with me. From here on out, I aim to close my thermos’ lid correctly. I am truly sorry.

I apologize for not telling you whether or not I’m happy with my life. I’d like to think I’ve already resigned myself to another tedious response, which is always with me. From here on out, I aim to close my thermos’ lid correctly. I am truly sorry.

I apologize for not fooling or amusing anyone. I’d like to think I’ve already resigned myself to nobody wishing me ill, which is always with me. From here on out, I aim to close my thermos’ lid correctly. I am truly sorry.

I apologize for making a negative post about Nintendo. I’d like to think I’ve already resigned myself to not seeing responses, which is always with me. From here on out, I aim to close my thermos’ lid correctly. I am truly sorry.

I apologize for hurting Nintendo’s feelings.

“Dear kid,

I love your drawings, but I would imagine such a world would favor, like in our world, four-wheeled carriages for the bodies. It’s just safer.

It’s nice! We can’t have nice things?

Joe Nickell wrote a great article debunking Oak Island in the Skeptical Inquirer many years ago. His conclusion was that it was essentially a prank by a bunch of freemasons with too much time on their hands.

I stopped using shampoo a year ago and my life-long dandruff problem has disappeared. I just wash my head in water now and give it a scrub with my hands. No smell, no complaints from my wife, it looks fine, etc. Shampoo is a racket. I’ve showered without soap and I know that soap is necessary, but shampoo, fuck it.

Even if there was a Joshua, son of Joseph the Carpenter and his wife Mary, born in Bethlehem and lived in Nazareth, then ran a heretical Jewish anti-Roman sect, that is as far as the similarities go to the magical superman in the bible, so it’s like claiming Dracula and Vlad the Impaler are the same person.

Ice cream... children’s ice cream...

Credible!

I don’t know if it’s still there, but there used to be a restaurant near UChicago that sold what they called Black Forest Coffee. It was basically an ice cream sundae, but with coffee at the bottom instead of ice cream. So amazing.

I love you.

H. G. Wells was almost right about the Morlocks and the Eloi except the Eloi are going to look like the humans in Wall-E... all the more meat for the Morlock harvest.

But to be fair, Gehrig and Cobb played before things like batting helmets. I don’t think you would see as many problems related to CTS in modern players.

Maybe so, but this would be my vote for funniest overall moment in the entire Warner Brothers output. It is another comedy rule breaker, violating the rule of threes.

Wile E. Coyote not a fanatic. Wile E. Coyote is starving.