[casts stone, sees it not going far enough, runs underneath to catch it, casts again]

“It was wild, our first time having sex on the golf course. I had to wear 2 condoms”

Earn your pinstripes! Grossly over pay for an undersized apartment and spend 14 dollars on a pack of cigarettes!

Barry Bonds’ scientific name is Cephalomegalodon.

“Oh, you gotta track a raccoon every chance you get. Those varmints will lead you right to the best trashbins in town. Now, if you see more than one, you might think you should trail the fattest, but those are just lazy. Real limited range. The lean ones? Now they get around. You wouldn’t believe what you’ll come…

eating something solely because no one else likes it is the ultimate old man move.

Tough decision. His heart is between a rock and a hard place.

This is the awning of the age of hilarious.

And in our desperation we turned to a city we didn’t fully understand.

You’re referring to the NYJ franchise correct?

This support on the railing looks terrified.

No, you didn’t chip in, you get Honeydew

I can’t wait to read your excuses for not hiring Colin Kaepernick.

Deadspin’s coverage is already wide left.

Dude imagine this: self delivery

At a certain point MLB commissioner, Paul Manafort needs to step in and say, “this is too many trades. You guys are acting like traders,” because they certainly are. During the New England Revolution, Benedict Cumberbatch was half the trader these 2017 Florida Marlins are.

Maybe they hired him because of the Staph he would bring with?

Or was it a false flag?

Like the old expression says, “What’s good for a goose is good for a moose,” and it certainly appliances in this instant.