Too bad the Patriots can't pull the trigger on Rob Gronkowski.

I read you loud and clear. Jamarcus Russell is ready!

After we hung up, Ken Tarr called me a short while later and asked what he would have to do to get a job at Deadspin.

Have you appeared on "Jeopardy!"?

Cyclist Rides in Tour de France, Wins Medal, Gets Neutered

.

You're seeing it too?? It's a side-effect of head trauma.

+1

Deadspin: Headline about Sachin Tendulkar

Commentariat: *crickets*

Fucking Stanford

I'm confused. Is it the winner or the loser that gets sucked off?

While well-written, I prefer stories with happy endings.

In reality, he's quite apathetic nowadays with politics. He was just trying to take the focus of his actual biggest regret.

+1

Todd Haley was one of the original "Wet Bandits".

Fantastic.

Same concept.

Rugby Flop

"Gomez, take those out of her mouth."

That's so beyond rude. Not just to harass the guy, but to take pictures of his family? The last thing they want is to be caught in some weird, awkward photo for the whole world to see. I mean come on-