Who's the dead man that hit me with the pool noodle?!

He'll be much better equipped this season when Boston's ship sinks.

Damn you, Samer. That's all I can say.

Have you ever seen Todd Haley funnel a beer?

The Eagles defense should have saved that "Papa Johns" taunt.

That's what they get for Putin him on the spot.

I'd be more willing to play a game where the user controls Dan Patrick trying to smash Olbermann in the head with a mallet.

My girlfriend and I went out to dinner tonight. The table behind me was a group of late teen/early twenties girls. They laughed and talked loudly, which didn't really bother me. Then, they proceeded to go through the Breaking Bad finale scene by scene, for a friend that hadn't seen it. Now, I never did get into that…

A side effect of Busch Light

Daly's just glad that he wasn't the one laying on his back in a parking lot for a change.

Eagles defenders will look back on this day with fond memories, and say to one another, "Remember that time we made fun of that Papa John's guy and then he totally kicked us in the taint? That was too funny!"

+1

+1
I hate this.

Is there some kind of petition around that would keep babies off airplanes?

It's very unusual to see Cubs this late in the year.

"We're gonna go out there, bend these guys over, and fuck 'em hard!!! Also, the Vanderbilt legal team insists that I add that the sex needs to be consensual."

Somebody find Magary and take his shoe strings away!

The Grinch.

Due to a shoulder injury, Mark Sanchez will instead do Glute Kickbacks.

This guy took baseball away from lots of children.