cooking spray along the edge of your doors

Coupé d’état...

What was Lauer’s starting salary? 

And will the top model still have a 12 banger? I love saying that because some people fucking lose their shit when you say 8 banger

There’s more than one Audi? (pronounced Aww-Dee)

I was a waiter once upon a time and tried to explain the difference between Good vs Bad Customers and I got yelled at literally for days because “I got Paid and ITS MY FUCKING JOB TO DEAL WITH YOUR SHIT”

#blowmeanddontforgettosuckmyballs

Came here to say exactly that, “You still have Facebook... y’know AOL doesn’t even exist anymore right?”

When I win the lottery I’m getting one with a custom plate that says “Ecks-Bow”

I think you could get tetanus from the fucking windshield...

Yeah but as far as $kaycog goes... how many chucks could a would chuck chuck if that fender could defend’er

But... just LOOK at the shine on those tires

No...’Muricans only care about what they are told to care about by the media

Or as an alternative you could recite the “Rifleman’s Creed” out loud

IT PUTS THE LOTION ON ITS SKIN

Anyone else immediately see a car stereo subwoofer?

Rocket languages

A Lamborghini for little people?

Try it with Bacardi 151... just make sure you have a fire extinguisher

I think he’s low on blinker fluid but that’s just my opinion