Damn, Drew. This might be your finest work yet, and I hate that such great writing came from such an awful place. As a quick background, we are nearly the same age and live about 2 hours from each other. We share some things in common, like a love of all things Bob Mould and cooking. But I am an intensive care…

Get well Drew.

WIFE: Do you want the windows open?
ME: Nah, I’m fine.
WIFE: Okay I’ll open the windows a little.

Can’t tell you how many text messages I exchanged with friends seriously worrying about the health of a person I have never met and will likely never meet.

Jesus, man. This is harrowing. Like everyone else in the comments, I’m glad things didn’t go differently.

I’ve said this before, but I think it bears repeating: I don’t care a bit about wrestling, David, but I read everything you write because you are a terrific writer and storyteller. 

I have a serious question. Who are the 17+ million people who are watching this? I just don’t see the entertainment value in watching people fake incest and fight dragons and kill people at weddings for an hour or however long these things last.

Tomsula should really use a better pseudonym.

Alex

It only took one day, didn’t it Giri? DIDN’T IT? You like it poopy, don’t you Giri? LOOK AT ME WHEN I TELL YOU ABOUT THE POOPS! I EAT FIBER LIKE YOU FOR FUCKING BREAKFAST!

During the presidential race I remember seeing someone put it this way:

cha-cha-cha

Vince McMahon must have promised Donald Trump his pick of divas in exchange for allowing Army football players to suit up for the XFL next year.

Yet more indisputable evidence that everyone who voted for this clown is either an idiot, an asshole, or both.  There is no other possibility.  

“Could you not drive in that scenario?”

I mean, that guy was a troll, but this guy is a sociopath. If I were that troll, I’d sleep with one eye open for the rest of my life.

Then don’t read them...

They were the Michigan football of armies. A big preseason ranking. Beat up on lesser competition (the wildlings), then folded like a house of cards when they faced a decent opponent.

Yes. Artillery to the front that we will use all of... once, then a phalanx of unsullied, then moat of fire. All the pasty white dudes hide in the castle. But first a very pretty but tactically idiotic cavalry charge to show off how undefeatable the opponent is followed by a complete misunderstanding of how close air…

The Pub kicks ass. It’s been around for 60 years and the cocktail menu, dinner menu and decor have not changed one iota. If you are ever in Philly and get a hankering for a wedge of iceberg lettuce, a steak, and a sidecar, consider diving 5 minutes over the bridge.