“I said if it helps, I’ll put a sign-up sheet and everyone can come and pee,”
“Yeah, Jameson,that’s not how medicine works.”
“I’m just saying, man. Piss on me, shit on me. Whatever it takes.”
“Wait, shit-”
“Tie me up and choke me. Call me a dirty slut. You can take the handle of that bat and stick it up my ass, all the…

Time to get back on the fantasy sports train again

One goal on 30 shots would be a really good game.

In 1996 I was listening to tool and not sexually assaulting underage women. Just to let everyone know.

Love all the nerds who presumably shot their orthopaedic wrist brace straight into the ceiling racing to “UMM, ACTUALLY” you about a theoretical homeless man clearly not owning a dishwasher.

POLK HIGH, #1 BRO.

I’m diurnal, too, but my doctor said some antibiotics and lots of cranberry juice should clear it right up.

That’ll teach that buck-toothed asshole not to predict an early Spring again.

Will SOMEBODY please think of the four or five pairs of Oakleys that got stepped on in this video???

When John Skipper said there was too much white in his life, he was talking about drugs.

Eh, everyone has a Crapple folder on page three of their iPhone screen, right?

Thanks to the abundant kielbasa and pierogies in Philadelphia, there are not that many light Poles.

What a dumbshit consideration. These kids have to live in the future. Your old dumbass needs to hurry up and die.

Old white guy here who marched today - the sooner amazing young people like these take over, the better off we’ll all be. I used to think “I weep for our future,” but now I weep with joy to see that there is hope, and I will help make it happen.

My son started a gun reform group at his school after the Vegas shooting and it’s been growing in support by leaps and bounds, both with students and admin. He’s at the march this morning. He worked with another school (their cross-town rival to kind of make a point about coming together) to charter a bus and get a…

It’s no coincidence that his first match back is with Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens. In this GIF, notice how Sami is protecting DB while making it look more vicious.

God...Please don’t let him end up dying or ending up permanently injured. I missed having Bryan wrestle but I don’t want to watch him end up permanently injured either.

I just have to say, not having had the experience of really having grandparents (paternal set were both dead before I was even born, maternal set lived on the other side of the country and died by the time I was 6, so I literally met them twice when I was young enough that I barely recall)... this was a very enjoyable…

Is he saying his grandfather’s wiring killed himself and 3 others?