The Cardinals stop being penny-pinching shitbags and sign Fowler for 6/$150 - if for no other reason than to try and fuck up the Cubs chemistry.

This is a good take. Teams (I’d bet upwards of a third of the league) would line up to take that full contract on - Votto is legit and that contract actually isn’t that expensive, as you pointed out.

Anyone feel great about how Yoenis Céspedes’s Jason Heyward’s defense offense is going to look in three years ever?

Considerably less money than that .393 OBP earned him.

“They like fun characters it seems.”

You prolly won’t be laughing much.

And is almost as pointless as IMO, IMO. Because who elses fucking opinion would it be????

I’M A VERY SERIOUS JOURNALIST THAT TAKES JOURNALISM SERIOUSLY WHICH IS WHY I CAN’T TELL YOU IF I’M VOTING, OR WHOM I’M VOTING FOR FOR SERIOUSNESS. SERIOUSLY.

“Picture the Pope and the Vatican, laughing and drinking and singing and
Kissing me.”

“We don’t have the blowhardedness that comes naturally to Boston fans.”

Oh man, you made me like another Cubs fan. Your comment may be a bit long, but it’s so accurate, and also underappreciated. Enjoy the win man. Sincerely. Signed, Life Long Cards fan.

“Because you definitely should switch up from time to time if you don’t want to lose the ability to orgasm any other way.”

The forgot The Stranger. Sit on your non-dominant hand until if falls asleep and then jerk it.

You left out the biggest bandwagon of all, SF Giants.

Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Angers leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. Suffering leads to insufferability. Insufferablity leads to Boston.

Rememer when Paq had all that goodwill for wanting to knock Mayweather’s head off before we all realized that they are actually both shit human beings? Fuck Manny.

Huh? “WAR guy” has loved Zobrist for years.

No doubt those guys play the game the right way. Jesus. That didn’t take long.

The Curse of Chief Wahoo endures.