living in Western Australia, I don’t think I’ve ever driven over a state line. Flown over plenty of times but to drive there is 15 hours away by road.

Hemmerling, I think you should also get a column. I always scroll down these funbags to get your 2c in particular.

I 100% mean what I’m saying in this reply. Please don’t take it as a joke.

I don’t get why people need pancake mix... 1 egg, 1 cup SR flour, 1 cup milk.
Drown the end product in syrup and butter.

what sorcery is this?? How do you not get belted in the head by the seat on the way back?

I remember a highlight reel stretch at 1st with the Pirates back before they regained their mojo (then proceeded to lose it again). He ended up splayed out on the ground with a toe on the bag to get the out. 

I can’t for the life of me find it anymore.

I legit had to google “Sexy Harvey Weinstein costume” to make sure that no such abomination exists.
Some things cannot be made so 

Just be thankful it’s not test cricket!

Test Match Cricket. 5 days of blissful naps.

C’mon Drew! If bacon isn’t allowed in this hypothetical then a steak certainly isn’t.
I’d choose some sort of chunky chutney-like pickle as a topping. I still couldn’t last more than a couple of days though. That would get boring AF. I’m one of the first to starve during a drought due to being bored by the food.

I prefer the spray. Sue me.
I’m not wiping some sticky gunk in my pits, pulling it out to see how may hairs are still on there. The spray gives a nice even coverage for only a fraction of a second’s application. It also seems to keep the stank at bay for longer.

I thought it said “Disnep”

I’d bet Nicholas Cage would take the bond role off his hands... wouldn’t that be fun!

Get that bat down, rookie!

pan frying on 4 sides does a respectable job of keeping it mostly crispy.

When I have a particularly large and glorious sandwich I brag about it as a Man-wich.
Homemade bread from a bread machine is a good size for this.

Watching your child being born is like watching your favourite bar burn down. It’ll never be the same.

‘Murica!

White cars don’t heat up as fast in the sun as dark colours. Majority of australian cars used to be white before it became passe, for this very reason.

So long as they’re not tossing the money at you like you’re some hobo, it’s all good.