Draw me a Marvin the Martian?

I thought Tiny Furniture was pretty good. I liked it. Girls, not so much. Flawed characters are great, but I want to like flawed characters in spite of their flaws, not be beaten over the head with how I should like them because of their flaws. It doesn't work that way.

For reals. When I was 16, I was wondering why people kept telling me that I should relate to Holden Caulfield. Guy is an asshole. Now that I'm 30, I have to relate to Lena Dunham? Am I terrible because I relate most to Clueless-era Paul Rudd? I think I'm a Josh.

If Kevin Byrne isn't sitting at the same bus stop as Ray Rice, it's a fucking travesty.

You ain't kidding. At first, I thought it would be just a curiosity, a head shaking, "Is this really the stand women are taking" type of thing, but after the first few, there was just a flood of people. Meritocracy at its best.

In the parking lot yesterday, I stopped counting ladies in Ray Rice jerseys after, like, 20. It stopped being fun, and became really sad.

It starts with the Great War. Form what I've heard, it wasn't that great.

Over the years, though, the ability to adore something

So shocking it took Joan's breath away.

Jackée is the shit.

But we all agree that everyone needs at least one Jewish friend, right?

If gay cards are a mistake, then how do they rationalize Mahogany?

WOuld this be better?

Arbitrary capitalization makes everything better.

Penn Jillette's kid is named Moxie Crimefighter. So, who wins?

This surprises me. Celebrity scents have always brought me luck...

Ecto Cooler or GTFO.

Ecto Cooler or GTFO.

Will you watch Napoleon Dynamite and then tell me why it sucks, please? I think you'd be funnier than me.