Not only that, but 2 dates a week can get really expensive quick. Especially if you’re socially expected to pick up the tab.

sorry, come again? Italy would be annoying if it weren’t for the attractive people with accents? Is that what you said?

Why do I always fall in love with lesbians? Why do I instantly fall in love with girls who have that something more in their eyes? Something melancholy and perhaps insecure? Girls whom I’d rather protect and embrace than take to bed?

Liberals— wanna lose more elections? Want your entire agenda mocked? Keep focusing on this kind of thing.

I used to work in a place with a gym on site. It was convenient, and I spent my lunch hour there. When I changed jobs, my gym was closer to home, and it was a real pain going. I eventually stopped.

Dry wheat toast, runny eggs with pepper and 7-Up.

Listen, if you’ve had any amount of weed, you’re too fucking stoned to drive.

This is really going to follow you all through out your life now. Just like my friend, Andrew Hilliard.

I agree—

I can’t decide if this style pizza will give you the runs or will block you up. Typical of Midwestern food, it’s a gamble.

Agreed. I took a job after I was dust-binned that was low-paid and not in my field. It was a temping gig, and it eventually led to a permanent job that was somewhat out of my field, but better for me in general.

Not saying women can’t be perverts, but that letter was obviously not written by one. It has the stench of a Penthouse Letter.

I know he has written about all of the fakes he gets. However, I think he should make a point of calling out the blatant ones. Something along the lines of “listen, mister, I know you jerked off while writing this, but I’m gonna use your premise as a reference point to a larger issue.”

Twin Peaks was rubbish. I think once the fog has cleared, people will realize just how bad it was.

If you believe that the letter writer was really a woman who really did that, well, I’ve got a bridge hanging over the River Thames to sell you.

Tiresome Reality Arrogates Intimate Nearness

Seriously.

Careful. That is one great way to wind up shot full of lead.

If that’s the case, then your 50s might as well be spent lounging in your father’s scrotum-swaddled testicles far from the terrors of middle age.