Kids these days, with their Musicbooks and their Insta-Tweets. I remember being lucky to have five friends that lived in the same goddamn state as me, and none of them gave a crap about what I had for lunch each day.

I was expecting the fake flashbang play, which continues to be one of those simple strats that you just don’t have in other FPS games.

This ranks right up there with the “life-size” Big Daddy or Diablo cosplay. Really big, really accurate cosplay that makes you ask, “wait, how can they move? Where does the person go in all that?”

Man, fun golf is the best. PGA Tour golf is really tedious, like watching a pitcher’s duel in T-ball. But this? Country pride is on the line, and this is how you act? I couldn’t be more proud to be an American.

I figured Shaq would be better friends with the Pokemon players.

Grammatically the former, but I like the latter more.

They shall celebrate with corn cobs and hot dogs served by food snobs.

At least no one was French.

Not necessarily. The Mario 64 guys just did a major skip, and that got on Kotaku. The problem is probably that there hasn’t been a major breakthrough, and TAS improvements of several frames aren’t nearly as cool.

It’s almost certainly for movement speed. Old games had different horizontal movement speeds for walking and jumping, usually by only a frame or two, but we take those. First-person games with this coding popularized “bunny hopping”. Half-Life 2 and Super Mario 64 tried to fix the problem by preventing moving forward…

Did me some research. This is the current TAS video on TASVideos.org. It’s five years old, and actually slower than the real-time record by a few frames.

Personally, I hope they never give it up, even though I feel that they let us down with all this run-around that hurt us.

I would show this to my Port Authority-working brother, but honestly, it’s more fun to hear him talk about these idiots fumble their way through lying about having this stuff.

But have they killed that stupid goomba yet?

A fair amount of TAS-only skips eventually transferred to human possibility. Of course, some require so many frame-perfect inputs that it’d be a braver man than I to try it, but things like 0-star Mario 64, 4 second Pokemon Gold, and This Isn’t Even Zelda Anymore Ocarina of Time have made their way to the “real” world.

God dammit, this idiot is supposed to not be an idiot so we can vote for him instead of the racist liar or the regular ol’ liar. Looks like it’s another vote for Impending Ghost of Jimmy Carter.

That certainly would give him reason to shout “qapla”.

And it moves us all to the box office.

I haven’t played clarinet for a long time, but dammit, he’s right. That is an instrument that doesn’t call notes what they actually are.

I don’t know if America is ready for strong fundamentals just yet.