First, that robot looks like it has a weird ball sack for legs.

...proceed.

At least Legos have uses other than as a video game character. And I really want Portal Legos.

Ew, sticky dicky.

That’s a load of crepe.

Who told you?!

I’m glad that you wrote this article. I don’t think that anyone would have noticed otherwise.

I’m still grumpy that Jalopnik doesn’t do driving game reviews. I can understand no Mario Kart (which would be hilarious), but no Forza? No Gran Turismo? C’mon, man.

OK, that’s cool and all, but...could you make it work with an arcade stick?

Feeling good always gets tempered with acceptance if it doesn’t turn out, but I agree. 2nd place in Central, wild-card spot, probably lose in the first round to Dallas or something, cue mournful wails.

Shit. He’s the perfect human being. How else would you explain his appearance on State Farm commercials, as well as Key and Peele’s Football Names Part 3 (yay for A. A. Ron Rod-grrs)? He has to self-depricate, or else we’d see through his facade of perfectness to see the lizard-man that he truly is.

Minnesota fans, in general, are reverse-bandwagoners. Instead of hopping onto a good team halfway through the season, we hop off a bad team halfway through the season. Some of us bandwagon onto a good team, sure, but many of us prefer to wallow in self-pity, like we’re the Browns or something, and look forward to next…

Minnesota blows, man. The winters are too harsh, and it still gets to 100+ degrees in the summer. There’s nothing to do because our towns aren’t big enough to attract enough big shows, and we’re so close to Canada that our state motto is “What’re you on aboot, eh?”

I hate my team. I don’t hate them because they are bad (and boy howdy, are they bad), but because the Packers are so good, and many Minnesotans have decided that abandoning the Land of 10,000 Lakes for the Land of Foam Cheese is a fine plan. This anger is compounded by slobbering idiots who genuinely believe that this…

Meanwhile, Vikings fans begin forming loud opinions about how your place kicker is a valued member of the team and should never be dismissed because of inaccuracies, until they fall strangely silent and slink off to watch How I Met Your Mother Season 4, Episode 11 on loop.

Meanwhile, every NCAA athlete ever rolls their eyes.

To paraphrase, for any old people that don’t quite get Kickstarter:

This sounds like the worst episode of Will It Blend ever.

Touche, salesman.

Upon further testing, the toy Beetle shown above was found to have been decorated with dangerous lead paint. This comes as a shock and surprise to health inspectors, because when they tested the paint, it was within acceptable safety parameters. An investigation is now underway to determine just how the paint was able…