I used to read books on my bed. I really liked books. I was not the kind of 4-year-old that could be arsed to stop doing a thing that he liked doing. For instance, if I had to go to the bathroom, the little hamster-wheel brain that 4-year-olds (and some adults) have crunched the numbers and made the critical analysis…

Gestapo Soup? Wow, I did nazi that coming.

“Those faces don’t seem all that weird.”

God is a big football fan. What other reason would there be for Tim Tebow still being in the football news after all this time?

You blow and shouldn’t be called a moba.

I imagine saying “Hey Siri” to your phone just ends up making you look like the theme song to “Hey Arnold.”

Yawn-o-rama. Call me back when a man from Minnesota shoots something exotic, like a lion.

The jig is up, Riddler!

Meh. Until they run a scavenger hunt on the level of Potato Fool’s Day, Valve shall remain the king of sneaking cool shit into their games.

As long as I can play as a character who gave themselves a nice rack because he/she could because robots, then I don’t care.

Canifest Destiny is going strong once again.

Well, we know that players aren’t going to disarm by themselves. I seem to remember someone saying, “War. War never changes.”

I thought the sad fact was that the Jaguars were still a team.

You didn’t have to zoom in on him, camera guy. You’re the real villain here.

This just in: Mark Cuban’s ego boner is polling better than Donald Trump. He’s been usurped.

I continue in my assertion that there is a GIF for everything.

That man is a hero.

I think that this man doesn’t understand how American football works.

I’m concerned. Is the TV show just him being famous in public and trying to get people to recognize him?

In case anyone was wondering, he wasn’t straight perma-banned. He was temporarily banned. Likely for a week.