The personal matter was “participating in the gigantic pride week party,” which is fair and OK.

Among our weapons are fear and surprise. Well, fear, surprise, and our devotion to being pedantic about our allergy to crunchy. Let me start over.

Noone expects the Spanish monogrammed thermos! Their weapon is surprise!

And when he finishes that letter, the Deadspin headline will be “Oh Christ, Not This Shit Again”.

For your tea emergencies, always remember to carry a thermos of tea. To make sure your thermos does not get confused with others during said emergencies, I recommend getting your thermos monogrammed.

If you try and shoot Vallory, she still rocket-launchers your face off.

They both have to worry about the Bing car, though.

Eh...Journey had a very tight story based upon semi-linear repeatable gameplay. Sure, they both look pretty, but Journey lived and died on its story, and No Man’s Sky story is more subtle and is mostly about exploration.

Luckily, the LGBT community has been patient and kind. How about you and your love?

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck this noise straight to Nopesville on the Not Gonna Happen Express.

I never played FF7 myself. However, I did watch Advent Children, then imagined the video game that Square Enix thought was so amazing that they would put that much effort into another movie after their first was a pretty big failure (Spirits Within).

I’ll let you know when it is released for PC later this year. I expect about as much as Dead Rising 3 and GTA 5.

omg why isn’t there another Metroid game yet? Other M and Federation Force don’t count.

Cue “Baby Come Back” blaring from every boombox in Minnesota.

You want to hear how good the Master Race has it? Saints’ Row 2 will not run if you have multiple monitors. Not “run poorly”. Not run at all. I still think that PC gaming usually gets good benefits. Even Skyrim, which was pretty clearly a port to PC, got the patches and DLC faster than console.

Put your hands together, and up your ass!

If they wore shorter shorts, then people would watch, or so my good pal Sepp tells me.

Lincoln vs. Predator actually sounds like an appropriate sequel to Abe Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.

I had to high-five my brain for remembering that there was a competition for inhaling weiners. Kinda hurt.

Oh God, it’s stories about the Sims all over again.