Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck this noise straight to Nopesville on the Not Gonna Happen Express.

I never played FF7 myself. However, I did watch Advent Children, then imagined the video game that Square Enix thought was so amazing that they would put that much effort into another movie after their first was a pretty big failure (Spirits Within).

I’ll let you know when it is released for PC later this year. I expect about as much as Dead Rising 3 and GTA 5.

omg why isn’t there another Metroid game yet? Other M and Federation Force don’t count.

Cue “Baby Come Back” blaring from every boombox in Minnesota.

You want to hear how good the Master Race has it? Saints’ Row 2 will not run if you have multiple monitors. Not “run poorly”. Not run at all. I still think that PC gaming usually gets good benefits. Even Skyrim, which was pretty clearly a port to PC, got the patches and DLC faster than console.

Put your hands together, and up your ass!

If they wore shorter shorts, then people would watch, or so my good pal Sepp tells me.

Lincoln vs. Predator actually sounds like an appropriate sequel to Abe Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.

I had to high-five my brain for remembering that there was a competition for inhaling weiners. Kinda hurt.

Oh God, it’s stories about the Sims all over again.

I...I have some intense Incognito Googling to do.

Due to all these new vacancies, I hereby agree to play for the 76ers, on three conditions.

John Oliver loves bringing up the best, uncomfortable topics. And the response he gets is always what you expect: 10-15% people actually discussing it and making informed decisions, and the rest making fart noises with their mouths. He just happened to pick a topic that the douche canoes really, REALLY like making…

You cannot ignore his tunnel snake.

Just...fuck, I don’t know. The fuck kind of world are we living in? How the hell do we ever expect to accomplish great things if we can’t handle different skin tones? Geez. Stop the planet; I want to get off.

The Youtube comments are hilarious. The most upvoted comments are from people who do not agree with Anita Sarkessian, who was one of several examples he used; in fact, her sound byte was probably the shortest. And yet there are thousands of people that disagree with Oliver’s message just because he used Anita as an…

Son, please.

“Something inconspicuous!”

And then there’s Jinx.