FUCKING FINALLY!

Where’s the massive off-road ambulance for sick humans? #humanlivesmatter

Let’s have a nice golf clap for this kid. The worst he can get is 6 months of “vacation”, and his parents have to foot the bill.

Hmmm. Hang out with my relatives from out of town, one of which works at Riot Games, or try out for the Nintendo World Championship, or go to a sci-fi convention? Man, that’s gonna be a busy weekend for being a nerd.

Tune in next week when Deadspin covers cricket.

I like that analogy. Gonna take it.

OK, that car isn’t nearly Joker enough.

I remember a Christian kid’s radio show from my youth (shut up, I was a sheltered kid). One of the best lines that I still use to this day: “Bungee-jumping (insert a different insanely dangerous thing here) is for people with a hole in their head where fear should be.”

Yes, and yes. I mean, you’d have to at that point.

Pardon me, but I also wish to reserve the right to screw Brady.

Honestly, I would really have liked something like this in, say, Skyrim. At least it’s story and tech-wise possible in Xenoblade.

Let’s take a look at the Valve Handbook for New Employees, shall we?

No, don’t go bringing that Void shit in here. We’ve got enough failed Chronospheres in one MOBA, we don’t need any more.

Will they be surprise games, or can we practice? Would a Gameshark be considered a performance enhancing drug?

I scrolled through the list without reading it, saw the picture, and thought, “Why is there Skrillex here?”

This must be what it’s like to watch Vince McMahon fight, but with lawyers instead of wrestling. And with out-of-shape old guys instead of wrestlers. And with stupid pedantry instead of “well-crafted” fiction.

“We lost because our top lane fed them so much.”

So, it’s DayZ/Minecraft/other survival zombie game, but you can’t just bonk the monsters on the head, and instead have to actually take survival into account?

But you can’t strip a Super Bowl from the Patriots! Think of the Patriot Way! Those boys worked hard to earn that victory! I can’t believe that you...

Have YOU ever fucked up on national TV? I’ve fucked up in a room with one other person, and I still didn’t want to admit to them that it was my fault.