“We’re sorry we were caught charging $4.50 for tap water. In the future, we will conceal it in Dasani bottles like Coca-cola already does.”

It’s slower than a 2013 Ford Focus ST on Willow Springs... So yeah “just a KIA” is kind of fitting.

If anything the Bills should have been penalized five yards for being too slow.

You ever seen a sunburnt fish? Makes you think.

Push on the brakes, suddenly get softer braking because you’re suddenly lighter on the pedal.

Push on the gas, get whiskey throttle because I’m a fat schlub.

You’re not going to have to worry about your nuts when you’re being fired head first like a missile in a crash.

Kick It Out called it “offensive and discriminatory” and said “racist stereotypes are never acceptable, irrespective of any intention to show support for a player,” per the BBC.

I like to deep fry my water, they should try that

Have you tried putting it in a bag, though?

I thought it was an Ipecyrrhic victory.

Bunch of red shirts are all lucky to have made it out alive.

Theory: She had one in mind, but it’s something intense and involved (“I carve marble busts of assassinated world leaders”) and when he presented his totally banal list (“I enjoy breathing and looking at things that are in front of me”) she panicked and gave up.

So you’re saying no pages then?

I still want him and Rob Gronkowski to have like, a talk show or something after they’re done with the NFL. Like them just hanging out with people and being doofuses.

Their mascot is an Ugg boot filled with pumpkin spice chai latte.

Salt and Vinegar is the king’s chip.

1. Jalapeno

A more honest ranking would be to first rank brands of Jalapeño kettle chips, which is so far and away the big leagues of the kettle chip game. And then you can deep dive to your heart’s content into the rest of these KBO flavors.

Jalapeño is #1. NO ONE DENIES THIS.