What players do we think Nelson smoked with that he coached?

I suddenly have the odd desire to put in my will that my gravestone will have to be able to function as a pizza oven... 

Confirmed no romances :(

Even weirder, Bruce Orpik doesn’t exist.

The Jacksonville Jaguars are an independent source of football unaffiliated with any professional sports. 

OKC knows you can’t have a team offensive usage rate above 100%, right?

It’s the only way a Royal can get runs lately.

Mueller should hire Diana Moskovitz. Trump would be gone by Christmas.

and the time during the fifth season

Those Confederate guys are going to shit a brick when they find out a servant refused to go to the White House.

If Luck is playing behind that line, his book club should be reading As I Lay Dying.

He was tight with Chris Cornell and that they both hung themselves is fucking eerie.

Take notes, budding SEO experts. Take notes.

Maybe he was just trying to tell the world that he’s got a real problem with compulsively masturbating, and he really wants help for it?

There’s actually a third Eagles reference that spans the entire movie franchise: Did you know that none of the Star Wars films have ever won a Super Bowl?

THEIR TRYING TO STEAL OUR TUESDAYS

I drink it like this