But do they throw the rolls the right way?

Aging milenials who are too old for this shit.

Those bathrooms are blown up thousands of times a year.

Destiny, a game where you contemplate the yawning emptiness of your existence while you watch the load screen for that strike on Mars you’ve run 40,000 times already.

Nick Martin can legally drink.

Ready to Buy.

“Stickum, Danno”

Danny Meyer would never stand for that. Read “Setting The Table”. He's from St. Louis MO for the record:

Professional chef and son of a French restaurant owner here: He’s right.

Bro here. I freakin’ love Jezebel. Talent for days, wonderful mix of absurd/fun gossip, pop culture and truly insightful socio-political commentary. :)

The fact that you guys consistently post clips from ESPN Deportes makes you edgy and hip, right?

I cook and eat food for a living. Eat all the meat and cheese your heart desires. If you start your day primarily with fruits and vegetables and excercise 30 minutes a day, four times a week, I have found that you will be healthy and happy. Food is bliss.

“A fool and his money are soon parted.”

U mad, bro?

Jesus, everyone on this site ruins everything. I like Taylor Swift and High on Fire, who the fuck cares? Go to bed y’all.

You are worse than the hipsters I've lived with in Williamsburg for the past 10 years.

How about the actual highlight?

“He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man”

Hey dickface. I live in Queens, without a dishwasher.

My wet newspaper is 6.5 inches.