if I helped produce Harvey’s show and got this letter i would quit asap

I’m good with not knowing.

Well when they say “Wyoming” we know they really just mean Jackson. He’s not hanging out in Riverton or fucking Gillette.

A girl who was seemingly conceived, incubated, hatched, trained, conditioned and indoctrinated to be an object of sexual desire as the sole purpose of her existence and her only contribution to society is saying that she doesn’t get to be objectified enough? Do I have the right read on this one?

Friendly English Lit reminder: the point of this quote is not that Juliet is wondering where Romeo is. Rather, the “wherefore art thou” is meant as “WHY are you Romeo Montague,” as in, “I really wish you were from literally any other family.”

Can we take a moment to remember how beautiful that man was before he started looking like someone’s Dad who is trying too hard with the Snapchat?

USED TO LOVE BRAD, BUT NOW HE LOOKS OLD. JUST THOUGHT I’D COMMENT THE SAME WAY AS MEN COMMENT ABOUT AGING ACTRESSES ON EVERY COMMENT SECTION ON THE INTERNET. FEEL THE FEMALE GAZE.

This isn’t to excuse Eyre Festival, but if you are willing to fly somewhere and pay over 1k to see a music festival headlined by Blink 182 I just am never going to feel sorry for you.

The most heartbreaking part about this whole saga is that it may have forced a mediocre white tech dude to admit that he can’t do everything. I mean, can you imagine the pathos of that moment, when he realized that his misguided bravado and the penis swinging between his legs just weren’t enough anymore?

Success, no matter how criminal you were in achieving it, makes you a hero to other men, even liberal men. The Axis of Dick controls all our lives.

I cannot get enough of this Fyre Festival Failure. Its SO funny to me. Keep the updates coming!

What the hell do you do if a golf date goes badly? That’s a long date with no viable escape plan. (Disclaimer: I do not have the patience/attention span for golfing and so would never go on a golf-date.)

Don’t shit where you eat. Please. Your work spouse is about half as attractive as you think they are once the mystery/secrecy/danger is gone. Everyone is their better, more attractive self in a professional environment. The excruciating awkwardness of showing up for work the next morning and feeling like everyone…

“Harmony exists for no other reason than to make her owner happy.”

What I’m really saying is, did any of the other Olds on here read Adbusters back in the day?

Yeah this Tony dude didn’t “stand up for” the woman. He threatened the guy and got in his face. No one looks good here.

Friendly reminder to fly Virgin America, Alaska, or JetBlue

RIGHT? When your net worth is $30 million, you don’t get to call yourself an average, blue collar American.

I’m rebellious and barren so I assume if Gilead happens I’ll be executed quickly.

Yes! I just reread it and also gave it to a young woman who lives with us. She voted for Trump and was in tears after reading it. Good. I’m glad it scared the shit out of her.