I kept scrolling down and I still can’t tell.

DO I KEEP FACEPALMING OR DO I OFFER MY RESPECT FOR THE COMMITMENT??! #whatcoloristhedress

Maybe you shouldn't be here...

He’s already demanded a trade to the Pirates.

I don’t see how a sports website discussing a rare thing that happened in a 15-inning game constitutes a slow news day.

WADA mess.

The Knicks definitely traded Robin Lopez away to sign Dwight Howard. Next year their starting lineup is going to be Derrick Rose, Aaron Afflalo, Carmelo Anthony, Kristaps Porzingis, and Dwight Howard, and they’re gonna win 39 games and lose to the Hawks in the first round of the playoffs.

Notable predictions from Stephen A. Smith’s ancestors:

For the life of me I’ll never understand why they make these host countries build all this bullshit. Use the existing facilities. Isn’t that part of the whole “hosting” thing? To show off your country’s charms? If a country doesn’t have the infrastructure to host the games as is, then don’t fucking go there.

First they steal an MLS Cup, then our NBA announcer, and now our biggest university? What a year.

You don’t coast to a win after extra time.

+ .13

Created a burner just to say that the General DFW area, including Frisco where this game is being “played” and where I live, is approaching Noah’s Ark territory. Something like 5 consecutive days of rain at a rate of 1"/hr and supposed to continue through Sunday. After last year's monsoons that caused terrific…

“That’s not how you play hide the cigar...”

The thought of Bartolo Colon: Deadbeat Dad makes me sad, but the thought of Bartolo Colon: Attorney at Law makes me happy.

Cool Story Bro: Was at a Bed Bath and Beyond in Houston several years ago, and out of the corner of my eye, this ball goes bouncing down the aisle, quickly followed by what I could only assume at the time was an alien spacecraft, a giant silvery blur. A few seconds later, Dikembe comes strolling back, ball in hand in…

Is it as suspicious as this package?

I would’ve went with this one:

Dick Pound may pooh-pooh Zika in public, but behind closed doors he and the IOC are elated that there will be a whole new generation of pinheads across the globe for them to grift.

Being a big blazer fan and living in the area, I have to say this season was so much goddam fun. After free agency last year most people around town were saying they should tank, but thank god they didn’t. Even in the regular season, watching their games was great, and to be given the gift of two playoff series would…

Right? I’m not sure if we’re marveling at her sudden ascendance, accusing her of cheating, accusing the timers of cheating on her behalf, or shitting on the steeple for being a dumb, contrived, made up event for people who aren’t fast enough to run a normal 5k.