that the government and/or the medical establishment are attacking the family for their beliefs.

There was no mother. She was conceived by midichlorians and Luke gave birth to her. :D

See, now, I think Sheetz looks more like James Hewitt... WAIT A MINUTE

This lovely man came in every day, I burned his bread, and he left a $5.00 tip on a $4.00 meal. One time, he heard me (quietly, I swear) talking to another waitress about how I couldn’t afford to have my other cat spayed yet, and when he left, I found $100.00 under the cup for my cat.

Horrible coworkers clearly bullying a person with food allergies by eating all their birthday ice cream. Come on.

Yep, it’s called taxis, uber or friend. You just pulled Pinkham’s law. Congrats.

I don’t wear costumes for the same reason I don’t wear makeup, don’t bother with fancy hairstyles, and mostly wear t-shirts and jeans/yoga pants: because when it comes to physical appearance, I’m lazy as all hell.

I have two problems with dressing up (and basically always have): 1-I can never think of anything good and don’t want to do a lame costume. 2-I have a problem with feeling too conspicuous and don’t like drawing attention attention to myself

It’s crazy because Chrissy Teigen was so open about her fertility struggles, do these people not think she’s invested in this baby?? “Took us years to conceive so now that we finally have I’m so, meh. Bring on the IQ-lowering processed foods and all da bluntz! Who cares what happens!”

why judy greer why

I got my flu shot last week and now ears of corn are literally growing out of my ears. Can you ask this lady if I should be worried?

Please tell me your FB friend is a hamster.

Bless you, Bobby Finger

Well he did make her laugh so cry a baby almost fell out of her. From her book:

Selling my clothes drunk on HSN is my dream job.

That’s nothing. Wait’ll you see the specs for their new stadium:

It’s sickening and sad to see Madonna post that picture. The things that man did to her are horrific and it appalls me the way so many people have shrugged it off or forgotten about it. As always, fuck Sean Penn.

I’m scared that if I used this philosophy I would start to buy a lot more porn...