Asmodeus Asmodeus

They should have gone simpler. Instead of a gyro chip, they could have done a tziziki chip. Instead of a reuben chip, they could have done Distilled Human Suffering.

I think we have to remember she was 16.*

Let's be honest, what doesn't taste good drenched in butter?

People who like red velvet cake are the same people who like ranch dressing.

Call me drastic but isn’t the normal response to this situation to want to chop his dick off? Or at least Carrie Underwood style personal property destruction? I’m not saying you would/should act on those feelings but as someone that has been blindsided by a long distance cheater I can speak from experience that my…

i’ve always called a group of teenaged girls a committee. because they can’t do anything by themselves. i know, i was once one and had the same limitations for a while

your cat sounds fucking incredible tbh

There are several aspects of this story over which I cannot get. My initial thoughts were that this monstrosity of a “drink” would be like 5,000 calories. Those transitioned to utter shock that she would use her gollum precious as a projectile in the caramel bag war. And then anger that this bag of asses would be so…

I want to kill the family that harassed the host. Hosts are meant to be the punching bags of the servers, not the customers.

It's not even like they had her on All Things Considered, or insert your choice of highest-brow NPR programming here. They had her on a game show. These are people who clearly still believe in cooties.

That sounds like typical small-town “he’s the mayor’s crazy nephew” stuff to me - you get people who are basically bulletproof in small towns.

As a bald woman your use of “hair trigger” triggers my triggers.

He grinned at me, lifted his kilt and without even hesitating, flopped his sad, exposed wiener onto our stainless steel counter top.

I squeaked, said, “That’s four pounds seventy”

Jesus, each of these stories should have ended with a scalding bowl of soup to the dick for the men involved.

And full credit to NBC and CBS for whatever they did so they had access to everything.

They showed Dave at the Taco Bell. That is all.

How else are you supposed to unhook a bra?