I made the mistake of claiming the Blazers youth and speed would be the end of the Geriatric Ward of the NBA, and I didn't make that same mistake before this series. OKC is soft as a kitten when it comes to D—Ibaka was the only person who made it a priority on that team (exactly what the fuck Perkins is there for is…

Sports Press: "For we shall offer this latest offering to the Altar of Brent M's Boner, in hopes of another fruitful harvest, and the most delicious of the Eye Candy!!!"

"sexy" in a middle-aged, boozy, you-know-I-coulda-played-pro-ball-if-coach-woulda-played-me, uncle-ish sorta way, sure.

At least he hit the kid. If it was my team, it'd be "Pirates Backup Catcher Destroys Window In Building Next Door With A Dodgeball"

What is "The main reasons Jeffrey Dahmer quit playing baseball", Alex?

"Back and to the left......Back, and to the left.....Back....and to the left.....": Jose Fernandez's lawyer.

Pfft! Big fucking deal! I hit a few that far before! No, I mean it was as if you put the combined distances of every hit I ever got back to back, and then added, say, about 30 feet, but still....

"Get off the goddamn mound! I want a man out there."

"Holy shit! That was a hell of a long fight!"—Michael Spinks

You know, they don't just make up in Australia after a scuffle. They...

I dunno...when you find yourself surrounded by 7th grade boys, and you're trying to impress them with your coolness, maybe? Any other time, and you look like a 'bag with a piss poor sense of humor. Like the kind of guy that pays good money to see Adam Sandler movies on opening night, and stays all the way through…

This is a LOT more funny than when it happens to Lucy.

If you know Chevy Chase, MD that haircut makes sense.

Considering he's an Indians' fan, he'll still probably refer to this as a catch.

"I remember these!"—Jim Jackson

(jumps up, waving arms) No, see, it's, like...it's like it's a metaphor, man! It's like, the crazy....like, the crazy life of a traveller, man! A stranger in a strange land, like, man! And see, this one guy, he's like "I dunno about this craziness!", man, and he, like, he feels all confused inside, because he…

Williams, reading story on Dylan Fosnacht: "So what's the fucking problem?"

I dunno...I mean, Alton's cool and all, but a creation like this is the sort of thing that would seem to really resonate with those who define themselves by their material possessions; who fill the dark, deep, empty spaces in their souls with items like grilling spatulas. Just one man's opinion, of course....

At least he can fall back on spelling.

Rochester won the game on an inside the trailer park home run.