haha! See, it's funny because nobody who thinks it was funny was actually there, watching a 16 year old get raped!

'"I love baseball, football, all sports,' Masters himself told LIFE magazine in 1966..."

If Bravo is looking to expand the "Real Housewives" series to Boston, they've already got the group of cast members, right there in the clubhouse.

So......"Horny Creep Watches Sports, Gets Paid To Ogle", then?

"Yeah, see, THAT was my problem, so shut up, sportswriters! Or maybe you WANT a dead rat sent to you? Is that it? I can do it, y'know, 'cause I got, like, a ton of those fuckers, just for this reason...."—Dave Kingman

Sam Lowry's reign of terror is OVER!!

"Too much, son..."—Jeremy Meeks

Mark Parent approves of this. I mean he REALLY likes it.

Okay...NObody thought of a "blitzkrieg" joke, but apparently Twitter broke because of the Holocaust jokes? Try harder, losers.

Kudos to the school for the action, but all this was worth just a "sexual battery" charge? Here's hoping the continued investigation leads to some additional, stronger charges.

"Shut it, nerd! Get back to your mom's basement, baseball nerd! I don't need any GOOP or that crap to tell me who's good! Know who was good? JOE FUCKING MORGAN, THAT'S WHO!"—old, white sportswriters

Oh, I get it! It's a new campaign by the White Sox! Vote for Sale for the AS Game, and Mark Parent will come and fondle his junk for you! Seems like an....odd sort of promotion, but I admit, I'm not in Promotions or anything like that.

"...with which you furiously masturbate to Prince Fielder while telling yourself you're just admiring his athleticism."

Well, hell! If you can't do the time, don't do the cr......oh, wait, nevermind.....

"Impressive effort, but it obviously still needs work."—the International Olympics Committee

"gheskc,"—@pgammo

Gilbert's letter was replaced on the website with a note that said "P.S. Jk, LeBron! Totes luv ya! Danny"

"Who is Fats Thomas? Somebody we need on the payroll, like, yesterday!"—Jim Irsay

"And we hope that bird's OK."

"Fuck this guy. Gotta be some octopus around here to eat."—the shark