"...with which you furiously masturbate to Prince Fielder while telling yourself you're just admiring his athleticism."

Well, hell! If you can't do the time, don't do the cr......oh, wait, nevermind.....

"Impressive effort, but it obviously still needs work."—the International Olympics Committee

"gheskc,"—@pgammo

Gilbert's letter was replaced on the website with a note that said "P.S. Jk, LeBron! Totes luv ya! Danny"

"Who is Fats Thomas? Somebody we need on the payroll, like, yesterday!"—Jim Irsay

"And we hope that bird's OK."

"Fuck this guy. Gotta be some octopus around here to eat."—the shark

"Ha. No, really. It's hilarious. Never heard that one before."—Belgians

You call it "panache", I call it "impertinence". But words are meaningless, so let's not quibble over such matters.

"Fuck you, asshole! Keep the ball! I NEED A BEER, DAMN YOU!"—Grabby Lady

Quite a long article about players adjusting themselves.......HEY-OH!

I'd be damned if I'd throw a Skor bar at them; those things are delicious. A bag or two worth of Werther's, though? Eh, sure...

Ah.....well, I mean, what can you say? Philosophically speaking, the man has a point.

Damn. When I was younger, I could rise and grind any damn time I wanted. Now that I've hit middle age, it's not nearly as easy. I hear it's just a matter of blood flow, but I'm worried that it might never get any better.....

(blows smoke rings) "I'm hip to it. I used to dance like that all the time when I was down there."—Jim Leyland

JESUS!! That's not a thumb! That's a fucking talon!

I noted that in a later reply. Hell, who knows??

Don Cherry, 21st century Canadian pimp!

"Yeah, but dudes today play with pants where you can't see the stockings! It's, like, a LOT cooler!"—fans with no sense of history