"Fuck you, Springsteen!"—J. Chestnut

It's cute! Especially since they probably pay less on their insurance than I do!

I'm not sure he understands the concept of "pants"....

"Jesus...here it comes again. When will this END?!?"

"God, if there was just a way I could show him how much I love him...how much playing with him means to me....sharing this moment......I know!"

"....creating the greatest moment in Marlins history."

Jesus, guys, come on! I see you got left at the station when the Evolution Train pulled out. This shit is so blindingly rock-stupid, your own greasy hand would reject you. Why the hell would you think it would be anything remotely approximating 'clever'?

"He mentioned us!! That is SOOO freakin' cool! You know, I bet if we met, Barrett would like me. I bet we could hang out together, play football, talk about things....man, that would be so cool.....I bet we'd be best friends!"—Dan Snyder

A list truly deserving of a spot on Bleacher Report!!

Perfect landing spot for 'Melo? OKC. Westbrook is the PERFECT PG for him!

So much sound and fury, signifying nothing....like dropping an unplugged mic in an empty auditorium.

Well, the bad news is that we've cheapened the college bowl season even further, with EPSN partnering with a sleazy type who got rich off people's weird fascination with tradable, digital numbers. The good news is, ah..............see, the good news is.......well, it's............it's................something…

I'd like to vote for Lucroy, but I want to know his foreign policy stance before I do.

Not really, no. That wasn't anything near what I was going for. But thanks for the response.

This isn't nearly as good as "Man Getting Hit by Football".

Exactly....Dammit, I KNEW I shouldn't read this story while I was slicing an onion while my allergies were acting up.

"Most of that mucus trickles down your throat, and you don't even notice it."

Gwynn is the example of what happens when you combine the natural talent with the drive to always be improving. He has the extra cognitive component that separates the Peyton Manning's from the Jamarcus Russell's.

Tony Gwynn was my generation's Joe DiMaggio, and now he's dead. Shit, that hurts....

Holy shit. It feels like a part of my childhood just died.....R.I.P. Tony. You will be missed.