I don’t know what you’re going to do with them, but if you really want thousands of poorly scaled drawings of genitals scrawled in crayon, I guess that’s your business.

Well, that’s depressing. I guess we can answer the question of “how does someone who achieved minor fame creating crossword puzzles cash in beyond a documentary?”

Penn, Villanova, Drexel, St. Joe’s, La Salle, Temple. Some of you college transplants must stick around. I mean, I think Pennsylvania has a secret law that states that only one US Senator at a time can be an actual native of the state.

I just wanted to find out the intersection of the Venn diagram of “people who read fencing stories on Deadspin” and “people who do enough NYT crosswords to know who Will Shortz is”.

I beg you to consider the negative impact ridding the world of epee: without epee, Will Shortz will never be able to complete another puzzle.

You’ve pissed off both the horse people and the arrow people. Ask Custer what happens next.

Ah, the esoteric “Olympic archery truther”.

Fisher’s happy to release Foles. Foles is happy to be released. Fisher assures Foles that his former teammates are happy with Foles’ release.

Ah, a perfect match.

I’m going to have to give you a star, because if I don’t, it will be like a tie. And we all know comments can’t end in ties.

Maybe? Who could tell what Stallone was saying?

Only if Boyz II Men is still keeping up the beat.

From East Passyunk to Manayunk, from Port Richmond to Darby, from Chestnut Hill to South Philadelphia, we shall fight on.

Big Anderson Cooper fan, obviously.

Bro, come on bro. Bro, seriously. I’m serious about this bro. AAARGAGAAAAAHHHGGGGGHHHAAAAAAGGGHHHH!!!!. She’s the hottest stripper yet!

“AAARGAGAAAAAHHHGGGGGHHHAAAAAAGGGHHHH” - anyone, at a party, for some reason.

Weirdest Gamehendge reference, ever.

Did you see Burneko’s post? This is all starting to take on a tone of finality.

And so, naturally, I resisted it, because I’m a self-destructive idiot, and for the second and not unrelated reason that I am the most neurotic and least-productive writer who ever fucking lived.

I have a tendency to be a combination of violently cynical and Machiavellianly paranoid at times.