“I am governor Jerry Brown, my heart smiles and never frowns”

With apologies to Erg, I’m doing an Erg-style post as I while away the next 24 hours as I wait for the last NFL game of the season and the endless, soul-sucking abyss that is February without football. So, the theme is San Francisco.

I don’t want “fun” football full of pretty scoring plays that make advertisers happy, but a 7-6 defensive struggle/bloodbath/slugfest/war of attrition.

According to Steinem’s “logic”, men simultaneously become more conservative and vote for the more liberal candidate in the Democratic primary.

I won’t be able to stop myself from making sounds like Teddy the next time I eat.

Einstein’s Theory of General Relativity predicts that gravity distorts spacetime.

Nobody in that crowd is making to work until next Tuesday.

Judging from Billspin, you lick some coke, take the shot of Frank’s, and then suck on your own teeth to make sure they’re still there, and because they feel funny, you know, like the rest of my face feels funny, and, hey, here’s an idea, what do you say we drive up to Montreal after the game...it’s only a six-hour…

A sauce (cocktail sauce/ranch dressing) can be differentiated from a dip in that a sauce requiresanother food to be eaten, and usually goes on top of that food.

1. The despair fueled them to skip work to watch people eat.

Weak sauce, so to speak.

Sometimes you have a “road to Damascus” moment once you’re already in Damascus, I guess.

Probably before it became clear that any NFL team is more likely to pick up Ray Rice than Johnny Manziel.

After much thought and deliberation, and after having enriched myself by selling arms to his death squads, and after his own death in 1998, I realized today that I can no longer support Pol Pot’s vision for Cambodia.

Because Peyton isn’t as hateable as Tawmmy.

Geez-us Christ.

God. The Forehead is the worst rejected Bond villain and/or discarded Godfather III subplot ever.

What’s supposed to be one of the closest relationships in the world ending up in a morass of incredible tension, resentment, contempt, and even hatred?

1. Super Bowl XXII: Washington 42, Broncos 10