I like to imagine you with a high pitched voice that really throws people off. The funbag is very entertaining this way.

Eel neu, you son’t na.

Feel better now?

Well thank God I haven’t ever done a microtransaction! *Rolls eyes* *Auto withdraws monthly subscription fee of $14.99.*

This is why I get hammered at home and take a taxi.....and then spend $9 on a vodka soda with a lemon and smell like my grandmother did when I was a kid.

My drawer has a picture of bread rising and a bunch of temps. I just store pans in my bread maker.....

8/10 poop article.

Turtledoves. Merry <Expletive>!

Then the fine gets changed into 100hrs of community service...

Probably one of the kids long boarding across the street halfway through acceleration zone.

Stop being rational.

#Alltrailersmatter

That would be amazing!

Maybe it’s one of those teenie homes with 7ft ceilings and a 4ft peaked roof? :D

50 in a 25 on my street with a school and lots of kids just to shave a quarter mile between two roads. We petitioned for bumps. County said no, so my neighbor rigged his own speed camera. I’m impressed!

He/she is from New York....what do you expect?

Austyn Crites is the guy. He’s doing interviews, you guys should totally ask him about the Redskins and Indians.

Whatever, micropenis. Come at me, Harambe!

My Mom and Dad are lifelong teacher’s union democrats and they put a goddamn Trump sign in their yard. For every story about people turning there is a story about a turn the other way.

Hidden bag of Reese’s peanut butter cups behind the stereo. Woot!