I put this article in my Pocket to read later.

I don’t know, I found Trump’s basic pitch pretty compelling:

Wells Fargo should buy Mylan and Theranos, and rename the combined entity “WHealth Fargo” or, better yet, call it “Fargo Fuckyourself”, which lends itself better to a nice ad jingle.

355 mass shootings in 2015.

This is the first thing that has ever made me actually want to watch a basketball game in full.

You can still buy vinyl, it just depends on who the artist is. The last record I bought was the Zombies’ Still Got That Hunger (last year). I may sound like a hipster doof (or an old), but there’s something about a record that’s better than a CD or mp3/whatever the thing on your phone’s called...Google Play? I will…

“including replays of EPIC TACKLES”

It’s the American Dream

So many times a week does everyone accidentally go to Gawker? I’m sitting at 2-4. Slowly getting better.

I don’t get the alleged sexual magnetism. He’s like someone gave a ferret a fake beard and a Vineyard Vines gift card.

2016 sucks even more now because of your post

It’s interesting to think about Apple being at the forefront of some of these types of changes (i.e. the floppy drive) while still massively lagging behind in other areas (the tactile home button).

Oh gosh, sorry, I hope it didn’t come across like ‘The Toast did it first, you HACKS!’, I just thought people might like to read The Toast one as well because I enjoy Mallory Ortberg a lot.

it is very much not a joke and it is honestly rude of you to assume so

He’s Hanjo.

After Jezebel was attacked for doing anti-feminist things (posting pics of a rape victim, employing Hugo Schwyzer) and didn’t like the standards it was being held to.

Having driven on I-70 in Missouri, I can confirm that 1956 was the last time major road work was done in the state.

When Goldfish crackers get molded scales they can call me. Maybe.

Billy really is doing God’s work. #MakeAmericaBrannigan