My parents had sex three times. Me, and my two brothers. I don’t want to hear anything else lalallalalalalalalalalIcanthearyou! lalalalalalalallalalalalalalala!

He also spent two weeks with a trans woman.

I’ve had the same thoughts about all of this. I needed a nail file at my parent’s house recently and spied viagara in the bathroom drawer and it was way more information than I ever wanted about my parents sex life.

After watching a “very special episode” of Three’s Company where they talked about HIV, my little 6 year old self marched up to my mom and asked her how many sexual partners she had had in her life, in front of all of her friends.

Based on the image above, she should be played by someone noseless.

Honestly, any property pried away from the Church is fine with me.

why are you here

I clicked this because I thought it was a book about cats :(

People who do this are all “and I don’t use deodorant or soap and I smell fine” and everyone else is like “OH THAT IS WHY HE SMELLS LIKE THAT”.

I promise this doesn’t work for everyone. I’m so on board with not using unneeded products, and have tried several times to follow all the online guides on how to give up shampoo, and it’s a nightmare. Went a full month with only a hot water rinse every morning, and by the end I could make carbonara with my hair. …

You’re lucky. I have super-fine, straight hair that becomes greasy and clumps together if I don’t shampoo it daily. And before one of the BRO YOU DON’T REALLY NEED TO WASH YOUR HAIR people chime in, I’ve done week-long camping trips and such where I actually haven’t washed it for 7 days straight, and it only becomes…

Boy George is way prettier, howdareyou!

Comparing Sam Smith to Luther Vandross is absolutely insane. Sam Smith isn’t even that good of a singer. I hate the fact that he’s what passes for R&B now. His maudlin, whiny tunes are strictly adult contemporary.

Why is that, MISTER? EDucate yourself on why it works.

Horse conditioner? On my hair? I vote Neigh.

Doesn’t even matter.

Ok, here goes. Writing this out makes me want to barf. 

It probably thought you were someone else and would have been really embarrassed

That story is why I am no longer allowed to read scary stories.