Heidi Klum and Elle Macpherson are wizards of some sort. That's the only explanation for their mystical agelessness.

I really wanted to read this, but as usual I'm just scrolling down to the bottom to bitch about all the fucking GIFs. Why every website has to have 50 different moving and blinking parts is beyond me. Maybe I have some sort of learning disability or something, but I can't read something when there are photos blinking…

Perfect. I'm definitely not offended...but it's just fucking dumb.

hahaha. fair point.

Haha. I know, me too. It's like when you suddenly develop an insane crush on some goofball that's been in the friend zone forever...now it's just gonna be awkward.

And suddenly I'm totally hot for both. This evening has taken a sharp turn.

Not gonna lie...a young Joe Biden?

Why are people with fake legs so aggressive?

That's because people are allegedly idiots.

Tori Amos looks exactly like S.E. Cupp...which is such a bummer.

Wait. So what's wrong with The Doors?

alright then.

Thank you. This thing was WAY longer than it had to be and not particularly revelatory.

People getting larger monkeys to protect themselves from smaller monkeys. What could possibly go wrong? I think there's a song about this...

Everything.

It looks like men are just never going to let go of the word "panties."

I really hate the word "peen."

This is going to be a straight up disaster. At least she's used to dealing with failure.

Personally? If I had to pick one for my own classification, I'd have to go with hippo. I think it's cause the ocean really freaks me out and I'm much more comfortable in fresh water.

I think we can all agree we have Beyonce to thank for this.