Um. Isn't Knives Chau the name of Scott Pilgrim's fake high school girlfriend? That's just lazy.

lol. I live in DC...that ad is basically the whole damn city in a nutshell.

I'd rather be homeless.

Lindsay Lohan's newest face is her worst one yet. Time to trade that clunker in, girl.

Pittsburgh: AFC North rival of the Ravens. Fans here are perpetually frustrated that their star QB is universally considered a sexual menace, while Lewis is at worst thought to be "controversial."

Jeezus. I thought you were being sarcastic...or something. But that shit just made me cry. Damn you Budweiser!!! Damn you to hell!!!

Wait. Is this a rerun? I definitely remember seeing this episode before.

hahaha.

The Ohio teams must feel like pathetic jagwagons right now. How come everyone in Ohio is a Steelers fan?

You know what? Fuck this FUCKING KID. There...I said it...and I feel a little better.

OMG exactly! I stalk ducklings all over DC every spring...inexplicably adorable!!!

This is the best topic ever. And OMG DUCKLINGS! Squee!

Yes...I know what privilege is. I also know what fucking complaining is. Sorry straight girls are interrupting the gay bar experience, but life is hard sometimes. Deal with it. Don't you *ever* get sick of all the complaining?

What if I said...Get out of my straight bar, gay dudes. Would that fly? Nope...I don't think it would. Yet this article is written over and over and over. It's not creative, funny or interesting anymore.

I blame Jay Cutler for the Kennedy assassination...so this really fits my narrative.

hahahaha. OMG he looks just like Revis! That's messed up.

The angry old bitch that wrote this reminds me of Janice Dickinson...Sorry leathery old lady—women have more options these days. She's just confused because she's from the days when women could only be housewives, models or prostitutes.

Instead of showing this depressing graph to the rape apologist in your life...consider just eliminating the rape apologist from your life instead. That seems more effective.

He wasn't involved in a murder. He is a DOUBLE MURDERER. Christ...

What is the fucking hurry. This is why I hate New York...everyone is in a rush and the only way they know how to communicate is by saying FUCK YOU. How about you chill out. Settle down. Take some time to look around. And stop acting like the world will end if you and your fellow tweaked out ant brethren don't get to…