I can’t wait until Contractor gets a girlfriend. She is going to be very attractive in the weirdest way possible. They will sit in the common areas of the dorm and the library and go all out on the PDA. They will also fuck often and loudly. It’ll sound like eagles fighting to the death. Enjoy!

For those of you who don’t want to go to the supermarket after work or at ass-o’clock on a Sunday morning, try going between 4 and 6pm on either weekend day. Most people have finished their day’s errands and are home preparing the evening meal, but the store is still stocked and staffed. It’s not perfect, but it’s…

I have to imagine if I had a life where I could do my grocery shopping between 6 and 8 am on a weekday, I would just spend that time sleeping. 

The only person who appreciates Borat quotes in my house is MY WIIIFE

This is correct, you have a 24 hour store, the best time is like 3 AM. But God help you if you need help locating something or don't want to bear witness to the stocking troglodytes. I say this as a former stocking troglodyte myself, but I worked in the frozen foods section, so I was more of an ice troll.

I have felt this for some time, but the comment also brought up some great related issues with movie consumption:

Been going to the supermarket at about 9am nearly every Sunday for the last 20 years. Nearly empty on the way in, starting to get crowded (but not yet at the registers) on the way out.

I would like to request that Ms. Spheeris write an autobiography . . . growing up in traveling carnivals and becoming a successful filmaker AND facing down the Wicked Letch of the West AND to come out the other side a punk rock lady with zero fucks to give?!? More, yes, please.

You should check out Baywatch. I found it surprisingly watchable, apart from an erection “joke” that was minutes too long.

My daughter wanted a black crop CK t-shirt until I went on and on about how I had one exactly like it from the Buckle in 1995.

Chiming in that Charly Bliss are an amazing band! If this synth-y sound isn’t your thing (that’s okay!) I suggest you check out their last album. That album is an especially big rec for fans of Kay Hanley, Letters to Cleo, and the Josie and the Pussycats soundtrack. Yes! Those are all the same singer, wow, listen…

He was Drew the Gray. After his battle with (the Balrog? for all we know) we believed him gone forever, but he has returned as Drew the White to help us destroy Sauron.

Let me remind you you dizzy, lazy-eyed, droopy-lipped troll, that no one gives a single flying fuck who won or who will win North Dakota. Have fun when your dude wins it by 70 points next time and is blown out of the Electoral College, ya’ dink.

I’m not a DSA member, myself, but I’m glad someone finally gave a symbolic middle-finger while attending one of these gross shams.

I feel certain that several swinger friends of mine would wear these to the lifestyle clubs, probably along with a faux fur tail. There’s just no accounting for taste.

I’m wearing mine to egg the houses of men who’ve hurt me. 

I worked at American Eagle for a couple of years like 20 years ago (shit, I’m old) and I still have songs from our in-store playlists popping into my head every now and then, and we rotated to a new playlist every couple of months or so. The worst was the time the list included U2's beautiful day.  Usually the songs…

Someone who was a 10-year-old fifth grader on the playground in 2003 is plenty old enough to be an adult writer now. Fact-checking the details of someone else’s emotional experience feels like missing the point.

sir, this is an Arby’s

In Michigan, it is proper hosting for one of the Aunts to warn all cousins 10 minutes before dinner that it is time to “take a walk”. This walk is a munchie building exercise. It’s legal in Michigan now, too.