You have no one to blame but yourself. Use adblock (either Chrome or Firefox). I haven't seen a commercial on anything on Deadspin in years.

If you don't have it already, buy this:

(I don't mean we're trying to limit anyone to a single drink, but I can't think how else to phrase this, so here: Imagine you are having people over for spaghetti and meatballs. How many meatballs should you serve each guest? Hell, sky's the limit, but I figure at least three or four, right? But also, how many…

My dad always said he didn't care what I did, as long as I did my best, and Powersurgeon made a pretty great joke about a pretty terrible thing. You, on the other hand, added nothing. Thanks.

The background on letting those two go (and then having to match the offer sheet on Vanek) makes it hard to blame the team. They knew they wanted one not the other and were therefore scared to sign either and it pissed off Drury. FWIW, he didn't do shit after that, so it may have not made a difference since they had…

Do you really not remember Buffalo almost moving or folding because of a bankruptcy? Did you start watching hockey in 2013?

They were one point ahead of the last place Pens during the 2003-4 season. When you're saying neither team was very terrible in order to get good and then you try to use that as a point in your favor, you're reaching.

They were fucking terrible, but played in a division with Columbus so they got some free wins every year, yay Chicago! Let's see -

I disagree with you about the Sabres, but want to chime in here in support of cursing as much as possible. There's abso-fucking-lutely room for cursing in hockey!

Sabre fans are getting shit on for still showing up when the team is at rock bottom instead of bailing like Chicago and Pittsburgh fans did. Chicago wasn't broke, their owner just sucked, but being bad before you're good is the recipe in the NHL. All of the CBA is set up to make it that way. Do you remember that…

That's definitely true. I've seen research on it and experienced it. It's because pot impacts REM sleep.

There's a real epidemic of people cutting cheap, easily accessible fucking plants with more expensive, more punishable, harder to get hard drugs? Is that so? I've been smoking pot for 20 years and never had this happen without specifically paying extra for it.

Care to expand on that?

When was the last time one of those laws was passed without controversy?

If it's any consolation, I'm pretty sure that even the assholes pushing these bills know that this isn't a freedom.

Sometimes the facts don't lead a writer to the middle...

Why are you in charge?

You dummy, this is what Pittsburgh and Chicago did and they have no problem attracting free agents at all.

Did they play robotic voices screaming in terror? Seriously, that could be funny if it wasn't also so tragic.