SIMMONS: Pack up your bags. We’re starting our own sports website.

“Hey everyone! What’s the deal with these apples and oranges, huh?”

My brother did that to my dad once. In return my dad filled up a glass of water and woke him up with it.

Simmons, Olbermann, Cowherd - ESPN Departes

Wonder if it’s the same thing they did to people who mention anything about the twin towers being a coverup. Steel memes don’t melt jet fuel.

What I find interesting is that it’s against the laws of war to assassinate members of other governments, but it’s perfectly ok to attack their army with your army in order to capture them.

This made me recall an interview with Bryce Harper several years back when he said his favorite teams were the Lakers, the Cowboys, the Yankees, Texas football, and Duke hoops.

Yeah! Blood! I want lots and lots of blood!!

couldn’t come a worse time.

I was really excited about what the Sabres have done this offseason, but this accident in Luncan is a bit of a Small Town Bringdown. Guess all I can do now is listen to My Music at Work and try to forget about it.

I honestly can’t believe two of you had these thoughts in first place.

+1

I think one can say last night’s was the best event in history because of the confluence of random circumstances (and isn’t that what makes sports great to begin with?), but the “beat the clock” drama really gives the entire contest a new dynamic. So, maybe future Derbies will have their own level of intrigue. Good on…

It took real Courage to post that comment. Courage, and Grace, Too.

Blow at High Dough is Canadian for cocaine at Timmie’s.

i honestly cant believe someone else had these thoughts haha

A police spokesman says the source of this story is actually a song by The Tragically Hip.

It was a protest against the Burger King sale. The American truck represents his rage at his own participation in the US incursion into sacred Canadian ground.

All I want for Christmas in July is for you guys to get a damn T1 line connection so you stop talking over each other like monkeys on cell phones due to the damn delay. Other than that, love the show.

I asked if Elite Daily could help me find the person impersonating me. “Unfortunately we’re not able to give out other people’s email addresses,” a PR person emailed me.

The latter. This is all George.