You know it must be killing Rex to see his team constantly shoot itself in the foot. I hope for his well-being that the team can get things turned around soon.

Love Ichiro, but he was facing a minor league team.

The Hurt Locker was in 2008, not 2012.

He’s like the veteran cop just days from retirement who dies at the beginning of the movie.

Careful. Didn't Canseco get a career-ending elbow injury this way?

Hmm. Still better than any pitcher the Rockies put on the mound this year.

Matt “Lock” Hasselbeck.

most overrated player ever. glorified singles hitter. great fielder. plenty of #s. but aint won a playoff series. not a championship player.

“We want the ball and dinner before 5:00 p.m.!”

Zoinks! You have one job, Scobee!

In a situation like this, there are no PAT answers.

More like a Scobee-don’t amiright?

I’ll see myself out.

Poor Josh. He’ll feel a lot better after having some Scobee snacks.

Forcing pledges to watch a Diamondback’s game...this has to be the worst hazing in Greek life yet.

I’m like legit way too curmudgeonly about baseball and baseball game behavior but for some reason this doesn’t bother me

Another young mind thwarted by the infield fly rule.

Why does these pussies where ski goggles to celebrate? Do skiers wear baseball caps when they do well?

“They aren’t taking selfies ‘the right way’” - Jonathan Papelbon

Has anyone checked on the condition of Rob Ford this morning?

“These guys hit so many home runs and score so many runs, what assholes”