BREAKING NEWS: The Carolina Panthers have signed Y.A. Tittle and will start him next Sunday.

“Reggie Barlow was a decent NFL wide receiver for about a decade, where he played for some (somehow) good Jaguars teams and won a Super Bowl ring with the Buccaneers.”

As a professional football fan, I cant wait to not watch this game.

Oh it's not that bad. You'll be dead soon, so you won't have to think about this for too long.

The medical staff told him the hit from last week’s game was going to leave a mark, but Brees said that had always been there.

Good thing the weathers cooling off. A month ago, they would have really missed that Brees on a hot day.

I hate it when kids leave rape kits on my porch.

♫ ♫ ♫

Sounds like a scene out of “North Dallas Forty”.

Yogi Berra’s in better condition.

They’re saving the tiny bubbly for the next time Russel Wilson comes to town.

I can’t believe they didn’t fill them with piss! They have to have plenty of Coors Light lying around.

“Better yet, you could have filled them with pee instead of champagne.”

The Pirates just traded their playoff birth to the Rockies in exchange for the antidote.

Better yet, you could have filled them with pee instead of champagne.

“Thanks for beating our asses, here’s some champagne”

What perfect timing: I don’t think Seattle could contain the TD machine that is Jimmy Clausen and the Bears at Century Link.

Russell Wilson: [cums]

God likes the Seahawks again.

Making the errant decision to give in at a time of maximum leverage? Someone needs some nanobubbles to regain focus.