I don't think Johnny will need to worry about that. The 2nd contract, I mean.

Are you implying that Johnny can?

That won't be the worst Browns drive this week.

Tough, but fair.

Like a Browns game.

The whole "alcoholism is a disease" thing is complete bullshit. People who drink too much just need to drink less. Having a few drinks is one of life's great pleasures.

Why not? As a human being, he's perfectly capable of controlling himself

I skipped most of the story, but it's still more interesting than a Browns game.

I think it was misheard. He probably said “morning glory”.

Because NHL and NFL players are known for their sober reflection and unimpeachable judgment.

Report: Bears shit in the woods.

So why does he play for the Chicago, rather than San Fran?

No need to worry. Even accounting for cryogenics, it’s not something you’re likely to see in your lifetime.

I thought the game was in LA, not San Fran.

Because unlike other sports, it’s difficult to make the playoffs, let alone succeed in them.

Boos hurt the ears, booze hurts the eyes.

“Damn straight. And no goddamn marshmallows either”

“Keep it classy, Mets”

Or if Cecil had retired Napoli in the 8th in Game 2.

Speaking of dumb, the Bills may be the only team in NFL history to trade up to get a WR whose only job appears to be to take a safety out of the box.