I could listen to Vin read the phone book. Cheers to Vin.

Is there any human worse than the guy who always has to say “it’s not too bad...I don’t know what you guys are talking about?” when eating hot shit, high proof whiskey, or good wasabi?

As I’ve gotten older (I’m 33 GROSS), I find that:

This always works. When I meet new people I get them to talk about themselves. Usually they do it anyway. Just keep asking follow-up questions...it’s easy.

She’s been a monument to uselessness and cluelessness since her blogging days, where she went by the pseudonym “Jane Galt,” the only Ayn Rand worshiper who also just happened to love the ideas of perpetual war and the surveillance state under Dubya. Her mere existence as a published author in anything other than a…

The humor of this, is I think I first heard about haveibeenpwned from life hacker a long long time ago.

Who does this guy think he is?

“(...) the profound love I have for my wife, my boys and my Catholic faith.”

Actually, I’d make him call my answering machine and get it all on tape. And you know he’d try to just get the minimum done by just leaving the message and assuming that it was “mission accomplished.” Then when he started gaslighting people about what he said, I’d just play back the tape. But hopefully that’ll never…

Drump is the quintessential fukboi. The poster man child of ain’t shit. Fuck that guy and ALL the ignorant fucks he rode in on. I really despise that fat orange fuck.

A-Rod is a surprisingly good analyst. David Ortiz is quickly sliding into the “Shaquille O’Neal on TNT” role.

Ben Reiter is going nuts right now (For those that can’t see it, this was the cover of the June 30, 2014 issue of SI)

it’s literally in the post

Emus will chase you down for your bicycle.

If you have a chance to flick off that many Alabama fans, you better take it.

No. You can’t make me.

The Colonel with his wee beady eyes and that smug look on his face, he puts an addictive chemical in his chicken that makes ya crave it fortnightly, smartass!