Damn. And I thought The Johnny's were grimy when I was on the team!

or not

Think about how this bitch feels?

I grew up near one of these, um, churches (?). The walls of the chapel were covered with castoff crutches, canes, wheelchairs, etc. When I was approx. 16, after having dosed with liquid LSD, my friends and I decided to attend because it would be "super trippy." We were not ready for what we saw! 16 years later I'm…

Thanks!

My mom did this, but with no excuse whatsoever. She bought a '98 Altima new, drove it for 47k miles without getting an oil change for adding any oil, and then she promptly buried the dead beast. I still can't talk to her about this.

Can I reverse gears (oh!) and tell my worst mechanic horror story? As you can tell from my story below, I know very very little about engines, and am really just trying to figure out if I got slow played:

Can I reverse gears (oh!) and tell my worst mechanic horror story? No? thanks but I will anyway.

Can I reverse gears (oh!) and tell my worst mechanic horror story? No? thanks but I will anyway.

Can I reverse gears (oh!) and tell my worst mechanic horror story? No? thanks but I will anyway.

I don't understand how people Tweet, or more importantly why (besides narcissism), so I don't ever use the platform. Can someone explain what the screenshot below means? E.g., Did 57 people begin following the fat schmuck with the headphones because of or after his genius "knuckleball" tweet, or did they follow the…

I don't understand why people Tweet, so I don't use the platform ever. Can someone explain what the screenshot below means? Did 57 people begin following the fat schmuck with the headphones because of or after his genius "knuckleball" tweet, or did they follow the douchey shirtless brat after the "Easton" comment? …

This happened to me! I was straight as a nail all my life. 25 years of straightness. Then I befriended a gay. 2 weeks later I'm getting pounded by double dick and 3 other ambiguous cocks in Jordan Belfort's apartment. Oy vey. What a cockmonster I've become.

I didn't learn how to wipe correctly until late in college. I mean, I wasn't back-to-front bad at it, but let's just say I learned in a very embarrassing manner.

Yes Matt, I like apples. Now piss off.

I was holding my breath there for a minute, but glad you ultimately qualified the "friend who never lied" rationale. I was a teen with no real rules. No real curfew. No real structure. And I was a COLOSSAL fuck up, drug addict, dealer, violent, angry, etc... My friends thought my situation was super cool, but I…

I was initially saddened by the bear playing fetch with itself. Then I realized - who the fuck would play fetch with a polar bear? Well, maybe that Grizzly Man dude would who, ummm, well, his documentary provides pretty strong evidence why no one else should try it...

I grew up as a red-haired male (oddly, my hair has lost all red and is now mousy brown) and can confirm that it's definitely a nonstarter for some women, but for others it's pure gold. I've definitely had relations with more women than my personality should've allowed for solely because I had red hair. Thankfully I'm…

So yesterday I click on the llama video, expecting to hear Yakety Sax, but instead it's Ed Sheeran's Give me Love. Why was Ed Sheeran seemingly superimposed over Sax? Because one of the Gawker Media properties ran an article yesterday about Sheeran, so I Spotified him, forgot about it, and forgot that I muted you…

Anyone else notice the subtle tag-wail FU from the white llama after being lassoed? BAD LASS!