Thanks. I have my own desires to process. What scares me here I think is the complete lack of curiosity about the origins of these desires, and where we cross the line from not shaming people for things they can’t control to creating a culture that’s hardened to suffering.

I am a straight woman, so my experience may be very different from yours. But... I’ve been “coming out” in recent years about my dad sexually abusing me. And overwhelmingly, my progressive, declaratively pro-kink, usually white friends are the ones who joked around or in some cases disappeared from my life because…

Yeah but we can use anything to abuse ourselves. Being around other people’s families is painful for me. What I’m talking about is the societal impact of certain depictions. There is nothing inherently wrong in gender transformation, so people seeing massive amounts of it everywhere online isn’t inherently bad. There…

Thanks for making an effort to be thoughtful and nuanced.

Or they are abusers.

Hugs and me too.

I’m a straight woman of color and my dad sexually abused me. Let me spell out to you what incest meant to me. I can remember only a very few moments of my childhood ever being happy. There are no childhood photos of me smiling. I spent much of my childhood in my bed, under a blanket, crying. I was completely…

Also, in case someone thinks I’m oversensitive or something, here’s a good quote from an expert in this issue from this Bustle article:

Also, the most severe abuse is more likely to happen to people of color/low income people like me. I honestly think that’s part of why it’s not been part of #metoo - so many relatively economically stable and white women leading. Something to think about.

I’m all for talking about these grey areas but I really hope #metoo leaders actually try and be strategic and target the most severe cases of sexual abuse first. Study after study will tell you that child sexual abuse from a caretaker, especially in cases where there was no one there for a child, is the most damaging…

It’s incredible that she’s speaking out. My father sexually abused me. I am sorry to say but in my experience, by having a supportive uncle she has more support than most parental sexual abuse survivors have. I really hope he’s there for her and hopefully the publicity will mean she’ll get more support.